The Magic Bus

Ever since Logan came into this world we have had to deal with a problem we never really expected, sibling rivalry. No, Dave and I don’t have any other children that we weren’t aware of that suddenly showed up on our doorstep – we have a dog. Yes, the dog. Toby got used to being an “only child” in our family. Now that Logan is here, he has been pushed to the back burner. I am ashamed to say that some days, when Dave is on a fire, I open the back door only to throw some food at him before I shut it and lock it for the night.

All of this brings me to why I was standing at Cal-Ranch this morning at 7:15. Toby has rebelled. He has been caught by the dog catcher twice, and after spending the money to spring him, they told me I have to pretty much get him fixed, or else. Or else what, they didn't say but I didn't want to find out. So they tell me about this "Big Fix" bus that comes around every month or so to Cal Ranch and you take your dog there and they fix them for cheap.

Let me tell you, it's not exactly worth it.

Dave tried last month. The lady at the pound said to go early. They start taking people in at 8 so he went at 7:45. Ha! No way buddy. So this month I was going. I got a babysitter for Logan for 7:00 a.m. Luckily my possibly future sister-in-law said she'd do it. So bright and early Toby and I went for a ride. I got there at 7:15 and there was already a line! Unfortunately I forgot my coat and the thermometer in the truck read a comfortable 48*. There were people there in parkas! So the bus pulls up - but nowhere near to where our line had formed. Everyone looked at each other for a minute wondering if our social conscience would rule, or our animal instincts. Only one woman ran and we all yelled at her to stay in line. Then the waiting began. At around 8:30 or so they started handing out papers. These papers are GOLD. If you don't get one, you are out of luck for another month. This just is NOT an option for me because I have to go to court and pay the dog's ticket by the 23rd. I HAVE to get in TODAY.

Well needless to say I got a paper. I was in and breathed a sigh of relief. After you get this paper and fill it out (hard to do with your dog dragging you all over the parking lot), you go stand back in line and wait for them to take your dog into the magic bus. Well, they don't start taking dogs in at 8. I looked at my phone. It was 7:33. Are you kidding?? Fortunately I wasn't the only person there with a psycho dog. There was one other dog that was notably psycho - and she and her owner happened to be in line next to us. How nice! As we struggled with our dogs for an hour we envied the pet owners that had little cute cats in little cute carriers, and especially envied the dog owners whose dogs were waiting patiently - looking around like they had done this a million times and it was no big deal. I did more than envy these owners, I stared in disbelief. I don't think I have ever owned an animal that would sit relaxed next to me while there were 49 other animals in line in a strange place. These owners stared back at me in disbelief as my dog gagged and choked himself trying to get away from me for the entire hour we waited. We all sat staring at each other, and laughing at the chumps who showed up with their animals at 5 minutes to 8 expecting to get it. HA! In your dreams people. So the lucky 50 with papers stared and laughed until it was our animal's turn to go to the magic bus. Finally it was Toby's turn and I was more than happy to be rid of him for a while.

At 6:00p.m. I returned to pick up my dog. I was excited for this part. I envisioned him being so sedated I had to have someone help me put him in the truck. I even thought about taking the car so I wouldn't have to lift him so far. I stood in line again while one by one the other pets and their owners were reunited. Just like I pictured, the dogs stumbled down the stairs with dopey eyes and walked gingerly to their waiting rides. Then it was my turn. The door opened and out came a black flash, dragging the veterinarian's assistant down the stairs behind him. What?! Where is my sedated dog? Didn't you give him anything? Hello? As the assistant tried to explain how to put his e-collar on and how to give him his medication I was constantly turning circles to avoid being wrapped up in the leash Cruella DeVille style. The owners behind me laughed. I'm sure they laughed even harder as I was dragged to our truck yelling back in the general area of the magic bus "Wasn't this supposed to calm him down?!" We got home and I had to help my little patient out of the truck as his adrenaline rush from being released from that horrible bus had left him scared of heights. Luckily my dad was there watching Logan and helped me put the e-collar on him. We got it on and I set Toby up in the garage to spend the night.

This is the best part of my day. Toby was not doing well with the e-collar. For some reason it made him act blind. He could still see straight ahead of him, but he wandered around like he had his eyes completely shut. He would run into things and the e-collar would get stuck on boxes and the like in the garage and he would just stand there until I would come to help him. Meanwhile, I had a baby to take care of so I put a storage container in front of the garage door so I could leave it open to listen to him, knowing he wouldn't dare try to jump it as he was obviously blind. He did ok, just bumbling around for an hour or two until I heard a commotion that lasted longer than the normal bump, unstick, walk around, bump, pattern that I had been hearing. I got up to see what he had done and saw him sitting, quite content, on the fourwheeler. He was sitting backwards, as if riding behind someone and watching the world go by. I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants and grabbed my phone. My real camera isn't working at the moment and it is truly a shame. It still makes me laugh even to think about it, and the picture just makes me end up snorting out loud, resulting in strange looks from anyone who happens to be nearby.

This post is long enough, but I just had to share. If you ever need an animal fixed, the magic bus just may be the way to go if you need a little more excitement in your life.