30 Months - Milk and Cuddles

I can't believe you are 2 and a half.

I also can't believe I have never written about Milk and Cuddles. I don't know how long it has been going on exactly, at least as long as Tess has been with us, but that is how you tell us when you are ready for bed. Depending on whether you crash hard or are just trying to sneak a sippy full of milk out of us you let either your dad or me know that you are ready for milk and cuddles - which means we are supposed to get you a sippy of milk and then your dad or I (usually dad) will take you in on our bed and read to you until you fall asleep. It is a pretty fun routine most of the time. Sometimes though you will tell us you are ready and your dad will take you in and about 20 minutes later the door opens and instead of your dad walking out with an empty sippy you walk out instead. Not cool, kid, not cool. We don't like being fooled. You did this to me last night and I ended up taking you for a pajama ride around midnight and you STILL didn't fall asleep but instead jabbered in the backseat the whole time we were gone. We finally had to just turn everything off and put you in bed with us so we could get some sleep. You're a stinker sometimes but I think "milk and cuddles" is almost as cute as when you called your bottle your "bopple."

I am so excited for Christmas this year because you are starting to figure things out a little bit more. You love to put on your Santa hat and say "Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas!" and then you will come sit on my lap or your dad's lap and say "Hi Santa, what do you want for Christmas?" It's pretty funny. Hopefully you don't have a great memory yet though because I didn't hide your presents very well and a week or so ago I looked down the stairs to the basement and saw you toting up your bowling set that Santa is going to bring you. I took it from you and explained that it wasn't ours but you bawled anyway. Sorry buddy, I'll do better in the future. We also got you a basketball hoop and so when we ask you what you want Santa to bring we kind of coax you into saying that you want a basketball hoop. This is especially fun because for some reason you say hoop, hup. I want a basketball hup. I think we asked you about 10 times tonight just to get you to say it so we could laugh. I seriously can't wait for Christmas so I can see how excited you will hopefully get to see what Santa has to bring you.

You went to see Santa the other day with your Grandma Veater at the mall and while I was kinda bummed I didn't get to go with you the first time you met him, we got a picture from Grandpa Veater and you didn't look like you were all that excited to sit on his lap. Maybe next year...

You are getting so tall lately. The other day at church we actually made it there early enough to get a bench and I was amazed at how much taller than it you were. I can't imagine how I am going to feel when I wake up one day and you are taller than me. At the rate you are going it won't take too long into your teen years I'm guessing.

You still have your tough moments and we still have plenty of what your dad calls brother/sister catfights but there is nothing I love more than hearing you say that I am your best friend. And I know there is nothing better to your dad than hearing you call him your best pal. Tessa may be cute and get a lot of attention right now but you are definitely fun to have conversations with. Your imagination is coming out and I can only imagine the helicopters, temples and tunnels for your car Danger that we can build with all the blocks Santa is going to bring.


Love you bud,
Mom

You were so tired at Thanksgiving and asked Quade if you could lay on his lap. Quade wasn't quite sure he wanted to let you...

You and Tess with your tails.

You and dad shoveling the snow we got in Kanab.

Sugar Cookies and Snow

So on Monday we got quite a bit of snow in Kanab (I was so excited - that's one of the things I think we all miss about Enoch), but the bad thing was it knocked out our satelitte tv basically all day. In a way that was a good thing too though because we had decided to have family home evening and make sugar cookies and it only helped that there was basically nothing better to do...

Logan rolling out his piece of dough. Every time I make something where the dough needs to be rolled out I have to make sure and give him a piece and his little rolling pin so he can get in on the action.

Tess helped from her high chair.

So I put the first batch in the oven and checked on them after 8 minutes and they looked really gross - kind of greasy and not at all cooked so I left them in for a few more minutes and when I came back they looked the same. Yeah, turns out I am a genius and had set the temperature on the oven but hadn't turned it to Bake.

So... about 20 minutes later the cookies were baked and I threw them all in the fridge to hurry and cool. Luckily Logan and Dave are used to my forgetfulness and were pretty patient. Logan didn't mind too much because he ate the frosting the whole time they were cooking.

Logan and dad getting the cookies frosted.

Logan's masterpiece. He worked so hard on getting this cookie done that it was the only one he did.

By the time we were through Tess had gotten bored and was trying to take off.

All in all we had fun even if it did end up being a lot longer than we had planned. We spent the whole time trying to teach Logan that Christmas is Jesus' birthday and that Santa brings us presents because he is so happy about Jesus being born. Hopefully he'll remember that part of the night!

Christmas Cards!

Because of a killer promotion at seehere.com I was forced to order my Christmas cards WAY earlier than I normally would. This is good because I thought I would get them out earlier than normal but nope, I've had my Christmas cards in my hands for over a week now and haven't looked at them again since they got here. But now that I have procrastinated long enough to put myself back on my schedule it is time to start getting them in the mail where they belong.

Last year I thought I was going to be less obnoxious from now on and I put everyone's address in an Access database when I had the program at work last and guess what? I don't have Access at home so...

If you want a Christmas card with our beautiful mugs on it I ask one thing in return - your address. You can leave a comment, message me on Facebook or just email me at specialk217@gmail.com. Don't be shy either - I ordered 50 of them because I got them for free so even if you only kind of like our family I will still send you one.

6 Months - Sitting Pretty

So that last month went by pretty quick and just like I expected you have learned something new again. On Veteran's Day your dad was off work and we were sitting around the house and I was trying to teach you to sit up by yourself. You were struggling a bit and were pretty tipsy but I told your dad that I bet in 2 weeks it would seem weird that you couldn't sit by yourself. Sure enough, about a week later you were sitting like a pro. I think this is one of my favorite stages because you are so happy to be able to be up off the ground on your own that you don't care if I run in the next room or sit you on the floor and throw toys in your lap while I cook dinner. You also love to sit in the saucer and play with the toys and it is even better when I give you a biter biscuit to slobber on. You are a bit behind Logan on getting the teeth so you definitely aren't biting on the biscuit, but you don't seem to mind.



I must not have given you a biscuit to slobber on when this picture was taken because if I had your face would be covered with it.

I started you on solid foods a little sooner than I did with Logan and you seem to enjoy them a lot more than he did. You LOVE applesauce, pears, peaches, and even prunes but the look you gave me when I put green beans in your mouth was not unlike the look Logan gave me when I fed him avocado. I think the chill and gagging afterwards almost knocked you right over. I guess we'll have to work on the vegetables...

You don't sleep through the night anymore and in fact, have become quite a bad sleeper. Your dad tells you this all the time but it doesn't stop you from getting up at least twice during the night. I knew the sleeping through the night thing wouldn't last very long so I'm not too surprised but I wouldn't mind if you started sleeping better.

This last week was your first Thanksgiving and we went to Grandma and Grandpa Veater's for dinner. We took Veater family pictures the next day and I was so worried about you because we had them scheduled right during your morning nap time but it turns out you did fabulous. In fact, you were a really good baby the whole weekend and we had a good time.

You also did pretty good when we took our family pictures earlier this month but we didn't manage to get too many smiles out of you - you still looked cute though. I made a hat to go with your dress because you don't have a whole lot of hair yet but in just the last couple weeks it has started to fill in so maybe you won't end up with the thin hair curse that I have.


We go to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully I will remember to enter your stats here when we get home. You are nowhere near as big as your brother was at this age and now I am just hoping you fit into all the cute summer clothes I bought for next year! Whew! I remembered to add them. As of December 2nd you are 14 pounds, 13 ounces and in the 27% percentile for weight (I freaked but the doc says it's all good), 25.5 inches long (42%) and your head is 17.25 inches (85%). Basically you are the opposite of Logan at this age. He was 20 pounds (90%), 28 inches (90%) and his head measured in the 20%. Looks like we have big babies with small noggins or small babies with big noggins. Either way you both are growing fast!

You are such a sweet baby and I am enjoying seeing you develop more of a personality. I can't believe you are already halfway to a year old but I am so glad I get to stay home and see all the things you are learning. I won't be surprised at all if you are crawling or at least pretty dang close by the time I write your next letter, but really I am in no hurry for you to be more mobile.

Love you stink,
Mom

This better be the only naked picture of you to ever surface on the internet.


Cool baby.

Sitting pretty.

What I Miss

When I was working I had some negative feelings towards stay-at-home moms. Like, who do they think they are thinking life is hard? They get to stay home. All day. With their kids! Whenever I saw a stay-at-home mom at the store when I had a weekday off or happened to stop in and grab some lunch before court I would glare at their backs as they wandered happily around the store with kids in tow.

Uh, yeah.

Can I get a reality check for the Ignorant one on aisle 2?

Now I realize that that mother I glared at in the grocery store could have been so close to ripping her hair out that her only escape was to find something she "needed" at the store so she could get out of the house for a minute.

So I suppose at this point it looks like this post is going to be filed under "the grass is always greener" heading. Well, in a way. But mostly it is to help me remember the things that I miss, and some of the things I don't, about being on the other side of that "fence".

I do miss getting ready for the day before 7 a.m. Granted, I usually walked in the door to work about 7:08 every morning, but I was showered and dressed.

I don't miss leaving the house at 6:30 a.m. and not getting back home until 6:30 p.m.

I do miss talking to more than 4 people on any given day.

I don't miss ALL of the people I talked to.

I do miss sneaking out the back door with a couple of the agents to go on a Dairy Queen run and then hurrying to eat it by the time we got back to the office. I think everyone else knew I went, but I still thought I was being sneaky.

I don't miss out on taking Logan for ice cream because he told me my hair looked nice.

I do miss the passive-agressive office fights I would have with coworkers, particularly the oldest agent in the office - he once told another agent that he got my panties in a knot. I still laugh about that one.

I don't miss the adorable things my kids do on a daily basis that keep me laughing just as hard or harder.

I do miss chatting with my boss or sitting out front with the girls in the office and gossiping.

I don't miss the feeling of dread when Logan got sick and I knew I had to make the decision about whether to call my boss AGAIN and hope she believed me that he was sick again. (She always did and he always was.)

I don't miss obnoxious coworkers who always seemed to be trying to get me in trouble.

I don't miss sitting in staff meetings that got turned into a finger-pointing game so awkward and uncomfortable that no one's eyes left the floor.

However, I do miss staff meetings where we spent the entire time, sometimes pretty unsuccessfully, to stifle our laughs. And Agent P. always kicking off my flipflop whenever I sat next to him.

I don't miss having to leave my kids at the babysitters. Especially on the days he would cry and scream as I shut the door so I wouldn't be late.

I do miss feeling important. It's hard to feel important when you don't shower until 10 a.m.

I don't miss the looked-down-on look I got from people who thought it was horrible that I worked outside the home. True though that I probably got the look because they caught on to the vibes I was sending their way.

I don't miss the guilt. Oh, the guilt. Ask any working mom and she can tell you about the guilt.

I do miss getting to be someone other than "mom" at times.

I don't miss out on this part of these little lives that I will never, ever get back.

No matter how hard it gets, no matter how many moments in the last 6 months I would have given anything to snap my fingers and be back in my quiet office where I was in control and felt valuable, that last sentence says it all. I may not be a perfect mom, I may not have been "that girl" who was born to be a mom, but looking back from 6 months there is not a day I would give back or trade. I'm only glad that I have this perspective - to be able to say that I have been both places and this is where I need to be. I am thankful for the job I did have - a job that I liked so well that I do miss it. I was lucky for that. But, we have made sacrifices in the home we choose to live in, the things we choose to buy, and the way we choose to live so that I can be here, now, and I feel lucky for that.

And I'm especially grateful to Dave - who has made the most sacrifices of all of us only to get to listen to me whine about staying home on the days that don't go so well. At least I won't be looking back on this time when the kids have grown up and whining about what I missed...

29 Months - My turn

I really missed writing your letter last month but I think your dad did a really good job. Maybe I'll have to talk him into doing it again one of these days.

This month last month your dad and I had quite a few hunts between the 2 of us and you even got to spend a couple days out camping with grandma and grandpa and dad during the muzzleloader deer hunt. We didn't go to the family deer camp for the rifle hunt but we did hunt around Kanab and for the most part you thought that was pretty fun. You were especially happy when dad gave you your own "noculars" to look through. Every time we stopped to look for deer you and your dad would do this...
It was pretty cute. You always told us you could see deer through them but if you were telling the truth we couldn't find them. I didn't end up getting my deer but we had some fun scratching up the truck anyway.

We took family pictures the other day and it is definitely more of a challenge with you now. We expected the "angry spiderman/monster" face quite a bit and we got it plus a little of this...

and a lot of this...

but we did get a couple that are decent enough to display in the house and send out on Christmas cards. I think next year we won't take pictures in a park though - it was just too tempting. There were some older boys playing football when we were there and as we were leaving your grandma started talking to them and you ended up getting to throw their football a couple times. You did pretty well too!

I keep forgetting some of the funny things you say but I did remember a few for this letter. We are rarely surprised by the things you say anymore - you talk pretty well and it just seems normal to us now. A few months ago I was working on the computer and you came over to me and said "I want some ice cream... and you want some ice cream... and, um, your hair looks nice." I don't know how you learned that but it worked. We went and got ice cream later that day.

The other day we left your water bottle at Grandma Hillier's house and when we went back she had it sitting on her microwave. When we got back home I filled it up and gave it to you and you said "Oh, my water cup. I left it on grandma's cooker." It took me a minute to figure out what "cooker" meant and then I had to laugh because that little box must just seem like a magical cooker to you. I put your eggs or oatmeal in it in the morning and they come out cooked! A "cooker" is a dang better name than "microwave."

You also told me the other day that your gum went "down the drain" in your mouth. Nope, you didn't swallow it - it just went down the drain.

The other day we went out and played in the leaves that are falling from the big tree in our yard and you had a great time. I raked up some of them for you and you had a good time throwing them around while we waited outside for your dad to come home.

Then you chased a bunch of grasshoppers that had become pretty slow because of the cooler weather and you even caught one. It surprised us both and I screamed and you tried your best to squeeze the life out of the thing while I danced around screaming at you to please not squish it. It was pretty funny and Tess smiled at our entertainment. By the time your dad got you had made your way to the sandbox and pretty much bathed in the dirt. I thought you looked like a dirty little puppy...

Yes, that is dirt on your nose and forehead. You dumped sand from the bucket down your face.

Ok well as I write this you are nagging me and nagging me to get you some milk. That is really my only complaint this month is that it seems like you are on repeat mode. If you want something you literally do NOT STOP repeating yourself until I either get it for you or tell you no. If it is the latter, you usually crumple into a heap on the floor and cry for a minute until something distracts you. Again, I wish there was an "off" button on my ears.

But I love ya and I better go get you the milk that you are nagging me for. Next month you are officially 2 1/2 and I can't believe it. What happened to my little boy? All I see when I look at this picture is you 15 years from now in your football jacket trying to look smokin' for the ladies. Yikes!

Love ya chubs,

Mom

Need New Stuff?

My Aunt Jean is having an estate sale this weekend so if you live nearby you should totally check it out. Dave and I already spent quite a bit of money "shopping" for tools in her basement and there are still tons of great things to be found. There are lots of tools, some really nice tables and other furniture I would buy if I knew where we would be living in the next few years, dishes, and pretty much anything you can think of.

The website to see all of the pictures and the information/address is www.suzannesales.com .

This is only one side of the room with all the tools in it - there are tons!

I love this dresser!

More tools...

Beautiful bedroom set.

Halloween!

So apparently Logan has this thing with getting sick around candy holidays. He puked all over me and then proceeded to poop all over me at Easter last year and missed out on the Easter egg hunt. Now the day before Halloween he got sick again. Poor kid. He had had a fever and was just generally feeling pretty crummy on Friday so I was preparing to take him to the doctor on Saturday but after a good night's sleep he woke up feeling much better and the fever was nowhere to be seen! We still decided it wouldn't be a good idea to send him out collecting tons of candy (sugar affects your immune system!) so I put him in his costume and took him to a couple houses nearby and we called it quits for the night.

No matter how hard I tried I could barely get him to look up from trying to unwrap his candy to take a picture with his pumpkins.

I finally succeeded here but he doesn't look all that happy with me. You can still see in his eyes that he doesn't feel that great...

So we spent the rest of the evening handing out candy to all the "costumes" that knocked on our door and there were TONS! I figured no one would come to our house because no one here really knows us but apparently that doesn't mean anything in Kanab! I ran out of candy by 8 and we spent the rest of the night trying to ignore people who didn't understand that the porch light being off meant we were out of candy. I finally had to put up a sign and that worked for the most part but we did have a couple people knock even after that. Relentless!

So even though Logan didn't do much actual trick-or-treating I think he had a good time. He keeps asking me if we are going to go to people's houses and say trick or treat but so far he has been pretty happy to put his costume back on and be Spiderman for the day.

Oh, and I was a total scrooge and didn't dress Tess up. We were both going to go as firefighters since she has a firefighting shirt and I still have all my firefighting stuff but after the day we had we decided against it. Next year though - just you wait...

5 Months - Sold! To the nearest Indians.

5 months already - I shouldn't even say it because I know you are probably tired of reading it but dang, where did it go?

You had your 4 month appointment at the doctor after I wrote your last letter so I didn't get your stats in but as of October 4th-ish you were 13 lbs. 5 oz. and 25 inches long. Your weight dropped into the 43 percentile because your height shot up into the 73rd! You are long and lean but there are definitely some cute little baby rolls to be found. I've had to start putting some of your 3-6 month clothes - specifically pajamas - into boxes and started pulling out the 6-9 months stuff. Not quite as early as Logan who was wearing clothes that were double his age from about the 3 month mark on - but your little legs are getting too long for a lot of your smaller stuff.

Early this last month I had the chance to go play bunco and I asked your dad probably 24,328 times if he thought I should go or not. He told me he would be fine with both kids and that I needed it so I should go. I finally accepted the invitation and had you and Logan all prepared to spend the evening with your dad. While I was there I got a few texts early on about how you were still doing fine but as the minutes ticked by the texts got more, how should I say this, frustrated? About 3/4 into the game I got a text saying that your dad was going to drive south until you either a) stopped crying or b) he found some Indians who would buy you. Lucky for us you fell asleep. He ended up driving around with you the rest of the time I was gone - at one point he had gone home and Logan had fallen asleep and he actually had to wake the poor kid up to take you for another ride. I got home a few minutes before you guys did and when you opened your eyes and looked out at me from your carseat you gave me the biggest smile, almost like you were saying, "I TOTALLY got him mom!" Had your dad not felt so relieved his evening with you alone was over I think he would have flipped!

You've definitely become a little tougher this last month. Your dad and I had cow elk tags and we went up to Panguitch a couple times to hunt on Mt. Dutton. We would leave after I had fed you about 6 in the morning or so and then pray that you would take a bottle. See you were taking bottles just fine but not while I was trying to hunt! We found some elk the 2nd day we went out but I was so worried about if you were at home starving that I told your dad we had to go home and make sure you were ok. So yeah, I blame not getting a cow elk on you babe.

At Grandma V.'s riding the tractor.

You also think that you should be just as mobile as Logan is. About halfway through this month I had you on a blanket on the floor next to the kitchen while I made dinner. You were on your back and when I looked again you were on your front! Sure enough you learned to roll over and you've been nonstop ever since. I've been trying to get you to sit up a little bit so that soon you will be able to do it by yourself but that's a no-go. If I hold your fingers and pull you up to sit you just arch your back until I let you stand. I've also created a monster out of you by basically doing laps around our house all day holding you whenever you get fussy. That was not my intention but somehow it happened. And sis, you may only weigh 13 pounds but you are literally killing my back on a daily basis. I have no one to blame but myself for that one though - so you are off the hook. Meanwhile, I am excited that you won't be able to remember the next few weeks as I try to teach you that I don't need to be your own personal pair of legs.

All these so called "hard" things aside though we are still just as happy as ever to have you in the family. Logan has been warming up to you a lot more lately as you have started to become more of a little person than a little squirmy thing. Apparently I use him to try to distract you when you cry by saying, "Look! There's your big brother!" Sometimes it works because you think that no matter what he does he is pretty funny - particularly when he is crying. So now when you start crying Logan automatically says "Look! There's your brother!" He's a cute kid and he definitely has decided you are worth keeping - or at least shutting up.

Your dad says he likes to read my letters to you guys and see what I come up with each month. And you know what? While I don't even want to think about you already being 6 months old I am excited for next month's letter too, because I can't wait to see what you will come up with.

Love you shorty,

Mom

Food blogger wannabe...

So I don't want this blog to be just about the letters to the kids even though those are the posts that I plan on turning into a book at the end of each year so I thought I better hurry and post something before Tessa's letter this weekend.

Dave is totally gonna think I'm weird for blogging about this but oh well. Since I have been home I have been able to try more of the recipes I find on my beloved food blogs and I've definitely found some winners. My favorite this week is this Guiltless Alfredo on Our Best Bites. Pretty much everything on there looks fabulous and I have tried a few of them but so far I'm super excited about this one because it a) is GOOD alfredo without any cream b) is GOOD alfredo and c) doubles as a fabulous white pizza sauce for my chicken bacon pizza. I love alfredo but hate the bottled stuff and my previous attempts to make it at home have not been fabulous - which sucks when I spent money on the ingredients and wasted tons of calories on all that cream. This stuff only has between 125-160 calories per serving depending on how many you get out of it. We ate it over pasta one night, then I had it for leftovers for lunch the next day with Logan (he liked it - another plus!) and I also put it on a pizza for dinner last night. Not bad for one recipe!

So yeah, basically if I could make food look good in pictures, oh and if I had time, I would definitely join the ranks of the "Food Bloggers" but until that day I'll just link you over and write a post about how good the food was!

P.S. Lisa maybe you should move to Kanab and you can take the fabulous food pictures for me!

28 Months - Dad's Letter

The other night I mentioned to your dad that he should write one of your letters. He must have agreed that it was a good idea cause here it is!
Dear Logan,
Your mom talked me into writing your letter this month, which is not good for those of us who love to read the letters your mom writes to you every month, but I will do my best.

This past month you have gone from a terrible two to a horrible two. You still make me laugh but I have to kick your butt when I stop laughing. You have decided that nothing is what it is but whatever you decide it is. For example, you are not Logan, you are a helicopter, Spiderman, bug, elephant, or any animal you can think of, but never Logan. It’s not dark outside its light no matter how many times we open the door and try to prove you wrong. You are never tired or need to go to sleep even though last night you fell asleep face first in your sisters’ bouncy chair at Grandma Veaters. You did tell your Grandpa V. you couldn’t ride on the cuber because you weren’t allowed. I’m glad you’re around to keep him in check. Up until about 20 months or so you were the best little helper possible. I believe we took way to much of an advantage of that. Now when you eat something and we ask you to put the dish in the sink or the trash in the waste basket, you look at us, throw it the other way and run. Again, funny, but not what we want you to do.

As always you had some pretty funny moments this past month. We gave you a piggy bank made from a cocoa can and I gave you some money to put in it and you looked at me and said, “Now we can buy a new house.” I guess you’re tired of this one, probably because we never stay in a house longer than a year. This month you have really stepped up your imagination. You have shown us an angry Spiderman over and over again which seems to be quite a crowd pleaser.

You spread your legs and squat down just a little, put your arms in flex position and growl. I’m not sure if Spiderman would approve but that’s what you tell us it is, although the monster imitation looks pretty much the same. A couple nights ago we let mom go to a bunko party so she could try to have some kind of life outside of this house, so I got to watch you and Tess for the first time by myself. After about 5 minutes (Yes 5 Minutes) I decided it was time to take Tess to the Indians. The bad part is I think you were right there with me. Now Logan, I need you to take care of your sis and not help me sell her off. You know I never would but that night I seriously thought about it.

I will say that the highlight of the past month was having you at deer camp with me during the black powder hunt. Grandma V. watched you most of the time and while we here hunting, but it was still a blast having you there. After you left it wasn’t nearly as much fun to come back to camp. I hope you realize how much it means and will mean to me to have you by my side hunting. Some of the best times in my life outside of you, Tess and your mom have been all the time I have spent hunting with your grandpa. Those memories will stay with me forever. I strongly hope that we are able to continue that. I’ve already forgotten about most of the animals I’ve killed, but I know that almost all of them I had Grandpa with me. I can’t wait to have those times with you, but I’m not in any hurry for you to grow up. You teach me more and more everyday. I also hope that you will understand and forgive me for having a job that keeps me away from you as much as it does. Please know that I think about you, Tess and your mom every single minute when I’m away. This is the best way I can think of to take care of you guys and most important it keeps mom home with you. Even though you and your mom fight like a teenage brother and sister, having her home with you guys means the world to us. Someday you will be grateful.

Logan, I love you with all my heart. You have no idea how much you have changed my life and all for the better. I could care less that you always want to watch cartoons when I’m watching sports and hunting. I absolutely love doing the hot dog dance with you from the Mickey Mouse clubhouse cartoon. I think we are getting pretty close to getting it down pat. I know more about Handy Manny, Imagination Movers, and Little Einstein’s then I should, or at least should admit to, but I don’t care. All I want or ever will want is for you to be happy. My biggest fear in life is letting you down. I promise I will always do what ever I can to not let that happen. I feel bad because you look a little to much like me and you have cow licks all over your hair just like I do. But, I already know that I have a little buddy in you and I think I have more fun hanging out with you then I ever had with any friend I’ve ever had. You’re much funnier too.

I love you bud.
Dad

Columbus Day Pictures!

Lisa and my mom decided to take advantage of the bank holiday and head to Kanab for a little Logan and Tessa time. From the pictures that Lisa got I'd say it was a holiday well spent! Thanks for coming and as always, thanks to Lisa for the great shots of my cute kids!

A contemplative Spiderman. Definitely one of my faves!

He's a true Spiderman fan.

Tess was not so happy to wear the lion costume as Logan was at her age.

I can get one curl on top of her head and that's about it.

I love Tess's eyes in this one.

He's still cute even with a finger up his nose!

Splashing in the water at the park - one of his favorite pasttimes.

I told Dave he looked like him in this picture and he said

No, there's no way I'm that cute!

Deer Hunt

The reason I'm not in bed is because I'm working on my course but I had to take a break real quick to post some pictures of the buck Dave got on the muzzleloader deer hunt last week. Logan and I were definitely impressed when he brought it home. Now it is sitting on the side of our house and it scares the crap out of me every time I walk out the door...

Now on to the cow elk hunt for both of us, rifle deer for me, and spike elk for him at the end of the month. Yep - 3 elk tags between the 2 of us -- good thing I can actually cook and eat the elk meat...

4 Months - Growing fast!

I'm going to warn you right off the bat that this letter is most likely going to be LONG and all sappy and obnoxious so if you are reading this when you are annoyed with me then you probably ought to skip down to the bottom where I give the condensed version...still reading? Ok, here goes...

I LOVE your brother. There is something about the way a first child completely changes your life that gives you a special connection to them - there is no doubt in my mind that Logan and I have that. I may write about how tough he is and how we go the rounds but boy, that kid can still melt me with one word or wave and he will always be "my oldest." It's also no secret that I wanted another boy when I was pregnant with you so that he could have a brother to play with and, uh, yeah, there's that whole thing where I don't know how to do hair that still scares me about having a girl. But, I was making small talk with an old neighbor from my ward in Hurricane at Wal-mart the other day and I casually mentioned how it was fun to have a girl and she looked at me with the sweetest look on her face and she said, "Girls are different. People will tell you there isn't a difference, but there is."

She was absolutely right. I don't love you any more than that boy, but it is different. You are a girl, I am a girl and I finally get what your dad had with Logan all along. Logan doesn't care who plays with him at this stage - if you can put two blocks together and pretend it is a helicopter - you are pretty much qualified, but that won't last forever. Someday he is probably going to want to do "guy stuff" and while I like to do a lot of stuff that is considered "guy stuff", he doesn't want to do "guy stuff" with his mom. He's going to want to do it with his dad or his buddies.

You, on the other hand, well I can picture us doing "girl stuff" together. Maybe we'll go shopping for clothes and you'll tell me everything I think is cute isn't, or maybe we will talk about the mean girls in your class (I'm better at that than fashion anyway), or maybe we'll cook dinner or bake cookies together. Or, maybe we won't. Maybe you will be too cool for me and will hang out with your friends and your poor old mom will just hang out at home with the dog.

I want you to like me. I want us to be friends. I actually want a lot of things for you and I catch myself thinking about this a lot. The other day I had rocked you to sleep and you just felt so heavy lying there on my chest. You can't be that heavy I know, you are probably only like 13 pounds at this point but that weight hit me hard. You aren't a teeny tiny infant anymore and it is going so fast. The fact that you might be the last baby around here makes me want to hold on to this stage even tighter but it doesn't help. While you slept there I thought about some things that I think are important for you to know and become, from a mom to a daughter and even though you are barely rolling over I am writing them down for you now.

I know, you look SOO big, right?


- Never apologize for who you are. You are you and you can't hide it no matter how hard you try - and you shouldn't try! Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. You might find that there are more who mind than matter, but personally I'd rather have a few close friends who know me AND love me, than a large group of those I can't be myself around.

- Don't lie. I think this world could use a little more honesty and people respect someone they can trust to tell the truth.

- Do what makes you happy. Of course there will be choices that your dad and I will steer you toward in your life and you should definitely listen to us, but also listen to your heart and to the Spirit and do what makes you happy. Not your friends, not your boyfriend, not anyone. You'll make mistakes but you can always find your way and your Heavenly Father and your family will always be there for you.

- Be confident. Pretend if you have to at first - fake it til you make it! When you are confident the people around you will relax and open up and new opportunities will follow. That sounded like a fortune cookie didn't it?

These aren't the only things I'm going to tell you in your life but they are the ones I have for your 4 month old letter. 4 MONTHS OLD and I'm talking to you as if you are heading off to college but these are the things that I wish I was better at, so as your mom I want you to be better at them than me too and there's nothing like getting a jump on things right?

The condensed version I promised?

If you are genuine, honest, happy, and confident you will have the whole world at your fingertips. Go get it.

Love you sis,

Mom


Oh and P.S. You are TOTALLY a daddy's girl lately. One night after Logan had gone to bed you were still up and wide-eyed and your dad said something that you just thought was hilarious and pretty soon all three of us were laughing. Ever since then you always give him the biggest smiles and laughs and squawk at him when he goes out of your sight. Just like that you wrapped him around your finger so there's your hint for the future - if you want something from your dad just make him laugh!

Your dad was bummed Logan didn't have a matching shirt to wear too so we'll have to get him one next year.