4 Months - Growing fast!

I'm going to warn you right off the bat that this letter is most likely going to be LONG and all sappy and obnoxious so if you are reading this when you are annoyed with me then you probably ought to skip down to the bottom where I give the condensed version...still reading? Ok, here goes...

I LOVE your brother. There is something about the way a first child completely changes your life that gives you a special connection to them - there is no doubt in my mind that Logan and I have that. I may write about how tough he is and how we go the rounds but boy, that kid can still melt me with one word or wave and he will always be "my oldest." It's also no secret that I wanted another boy when I was pregnant with you so that he could have a brother to play with and, uh, yeah, there's that whole thing where I don't know how to do hair that still scares me about having a girl. But, I was making small talk with an old neighbor from my ward in Hurricane at Wal-mart the other day and I casually mentioned how it was fun to have a girl and she looked at me with the sweetest look on her face and she said, "Girls are different. People will tell you there isn't a difference, but there is."

She was absolutely right. I don't love you any more than that boy, but it is different. You are a girl, I am a girl and I finally get what your dad had with Logan all along. Logan doesn't care who plays with him at this stage - if you can put two blocks together and pretend it is a helicopter - you are pretty much qualified, but that won't last forever. Someday he is probably going to want to do "guy stuff" and while I like to do a lot of stuff that is considered "guy stuff", he doesn't want to do "guy stuff" with his mom. He's going to want to do it with his dad or his buddies.

You, on the other hand, well I can picture us doing "girl stuff" together. Maybe we'll go shopping for clothes and you'll tell me everything I think is cute isn't, or maybe we will talk about the mean girls in your class (I'm better at that than fashion anyway), or maybe we'll cook dinner or bake cookies together. Or, maybe we won't. Maybe you will be too cool for me and will hang out with your friends and your poor old mom will just hang out at home with the dog.

I want you to like me. I want us to be friends. I actually want a lot of things for you and I catch myself thinking about this a lot. The other day I had rocked you to sleep and you just felt so heavy lying there on my chest. You can't be that heavy I know, you are probably only like 13 pounds at this point but that weight hit me hard. You aren't a teeny tiny infant anymore and it is going so fast. The fact that you might be the last baby around here makes me want to hold on to this stage even tighter but it doesn't help. While you slept there I thought about some things that I think are important for you to know and become, from a mom to a daughter and even though you are barely rolling over I am writing them down for you now.

I know, you look SOO big, right?


- Never apologize for who you are. You are you and you can't hide it no matter how hard you try - and you shouldn't try! Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. You might find that there are more who mind than matter, but personally I'd rather have a few close friends who know me AND love me, than a large group of those I can't be myself around.

- Don't lie. I think this world could use a little more honesty and people respect someone they can trust to tell the truth.

- Do what makes you happy. Of course there will be choices that your dad and I will steer you toward in your life and you should definitely listen to us, but also listen to your heart and to the Spirit and do what makes you happy. Not your friends, not your boyfriend, not anyone. You'll make mistakes but you can always find your way and your Heavenly Father and your family will always be there for you.

- Be confident. Pretend if you have to at first - fake it til you make it! When you are confident the people around you will relax and open up and new opportunities will follow. That sounded like a fortune cookie didn't it?

These aren't the only things I'm going to tell you in your life but they are the ones I have for your 4 month old letter. 4 MONTHS OLD and I'm talking to you as if you are heading off to college but these are the things that I wish I was better at, so as your mom I want you to be better at them than me too and there's nothing like getting a jump on things right?

The condensed version I promised?

If you are genuine, honest, happy, and confident you will have the whole world at your fingertips. Go get it.

Love you sis,

Mom


Oh and P.S. You are TOTALLY a daddy's girl lately. One night after Logan had gone to bed you were still up and wide-eyed and your dad said something that you just thought was hilarious and pretty soon all three of us were laughing. Ever since then you always give him the biggest smiles and laughs and squawk at him when he goes out of your sight. Just like that you wrapped him around your finger so there's your hint for the future - if you want something from your dad just make him laugh!

Your dad was bummed Logan didn't have a matching shirt to wear too so we'll have to get him one next year.