4 Months - Growing fast!

I'm going to warn you right off the bat that this letter is most likely going to be LONG and all sappy and obnoxious so if you are reading this when you are annoyed with me then you probably ought to skip down to the bottom where I give the condensed version...still reading? Ok, here goes...

I LOVE your brother. There is something about the way a first child completely changes your life that gives you a special connection to them - there is no doubt in my mind that Logan and I have that. I may write about how tough he is and how we go the rounds but boy, that kid can still melt me with one word or wave and he will always be "my oldest." It's also no secret that I wanted another boy when I was pregnant with you so that he could have a brother to play with and, uh, yeah, there's that whole thing where I don't know how to do hair that still scares me about having a girl. But, I was making small talk with an old neighbor from my ward in Hurricane at Wal-mart the other day and I casually mentioned how it was fun to have a girl and she looked at me with the sweetest look on her face and she said, "Girls are different. People will tell you there isn't a difference, but there is."

She was absolutely right. I don't love you any more than that boy, but it is different. You are a girl, I am a girl and I finally get what your dad had with Logan all along. Logan doesn't care who plays with him at this stage - if you can put two blocks together and pretend it is a helicopter - you are pretty much qualified, but that won't last forever. Someday he is probably going to want to do "guy stuff" and while I like to do a lot of stuff that is considered "guy stuff", he doesn't want to do "guy stuff" with his mom. He's going to want to do it with his dad or his buddies.

You, on the other hand, well I can picture us doing "girl stuff" together. Maybe we'll go shopping for clothes and you'll tell me everything I think is cute isn't, or maybe we will talk about the mean girls in your class (I'm better at that than fashion anyway), or maybe we'll cook dinner or bake cookies together. Or, maybe we won't. Maybe you will be too cool for me and will hang out with your friends and your poor old mom will just hang out at home with the dog.

I want you to like me. I want us to be friends. I actually want a lot of things for you and I catch myself thinking about this a lot. The other day I had rocked you to sleep and you just felt so heavy lying there on my chest. You can't be that heavy I know, you are probably only like 13 pounds at this point but that weight hit me hard. You aren't a teeny tiny infant anymore and it is going so fast. The fact that you might be the last baby around here makes me want to hold on to this stage even tighter but it doesn't help. While you slept there I thought about some things that I think are important for you to know and become, from a mom to a daughter and even though you are barely rolling over I am writing them down for you now.

I know, you look SOO big, right?


- Never apologize for who you are. You are you and you can't hide it no matter how hard you try - and you shouldn't try! Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. You might find that there are more who mind than matter, but personally I'd rather have a few close friends who know me AND love me, than a large group of those I can't be myself around.

- Don't lie. I think this world could use a little more honesty and people respect someone they can trust to tell the truth.

- Do what makes you happy. Of course there will be choices that your dad and I will steer you toward in your life and you should definitely listen to us, but also listen to your heart and to the Spirit and do what makes you happy. Not your friends, not your boyfriend, not anyone. You'll make mistakes but you can always find your way and your Heavenly Father and your family will always be there for you.

- Be confident. Pretend if you have to at first - fake it til you make it! When you are confident the people around you will relax and open up and new opportunities will follow. That sounded like a fortune cookie didn't it?

These aren't the only things I'm going to tell you in your life but they are the ones I have for your 4 month old letter. 4 MONTHS OLD and I'm talking to you as if you are heading off to college but these are the things that I wish I was better at, so as your mom I want you to be better at them than me too and there's nothing like getting a jump on things right?

The condensed version I promised?

If you are genuine, honest, happy, and confident you will have the whole world at your fingertips. Go get it.

Love you sis,

Mom


Oh and P.S. You are TOTALLY a daddy's girl lately. One night after Logan had gone to bed you were still up and wide-eyed and your dad said something that you just thought was hilarious and pretty soon all three of us were laughing. Ever since then you always give him the biggest smiles and laughs and squawk at him when he goes out of your sight. Just like that you wrapped him around your finger so there's your hint for the future - if you want something from your dad just make him laugh!

Your dad was bummed Logan didn't have a matching shirt to wear too so we'll have to get him one next year.

Fit for a King.... or 2 adults and 2 small children.

So this last week we purchased something we have wanted for a long time - probably since we've had Logan and he decided that when he winds up in our bed he needs to sleep sideways.

Hello beautiful...

And of course this picture is awful because it was taken with my phone and also because the bed is so big and our room is so small (especially with Tess's crib taking up space) that I couldn't actually back up far enough to get a good picture. I just kind of held my phone out to the side over the crib with one hand so of course it is a little funky.

We bought the bed from my Aunt Jean and I thought we were just going to get the mattress and box spring but when we got to her house she had this FABULOUS iron frame that I L-O-V-E. It is something I totally would have loved in a store but never would have thought we would get. Dave was so excited that even though we didn't get back to Kanab until after 9 that night he still hauled our old bed downstairs and set up the new one that night. The bedding I ordered hadn't come yet so we just threw on a flat sheet from our queen and our queen comforter! The next morning when we woke up with all 4 of us in the bed and no one touching we knew we had made a good purchase.

So I put our old queen up for sale and had a couple offers and finally sold it to a kid who lives here in Kanab. Dave was a little nervous that he wasn't going to be here today when the kid came to get it. When he left this morning he told me to have my phone with me when the guy showed up just in case. Well it turns out that if the "guy" had tried to attack me I could have folded him up and put him in my pocket so all went well. I laughed after he left at the thought of him hurting anybody - let alone someone who has a battle of wills with a 2-year-old daily.

In more exciting news we are so happy to have a new nephew! Bosten Ralph Veater was born on the 21st and we were able to meet him a couple days later. He looks just like Quade did when he was born and was so sweet! These pictures always make my kids look ginormous but it makes me realize how fast babies grow and how cute and tiny Sylvia's babies are! Congrats to Dusty and Sylv!

Yes, I did just write almost an entire post on my new bed. Apparently September has been a slow month - maybe October will be more exciting.

27 Months - Naked

I just sat down to type this and wondered what I should title it when I looked over and saw you standing in front of the TV wearing, um, nothing. I have no clue where your clothes went because not 10 seconds ago we were in your room making your bed and you were fully clothed. But it works perfectly for the title of this because you have probably been naked, or at least only partially dressed, for the majority of this month and I blame the fact that you are potty training, and the fact that it is hot here! Potty training is going ok... you especially liked it when we were camping!


You had a blast camping and you were probably the only one who thought it was a fantastic success. It definitely wasn't easy camping with two kids but you loved it. You got to go fishing with your dad with your fishing pole, you dug in the dirt and the ashes from an old fire, you went on little hikes with mom and you helped us put trash in the fire by loading it up in your big Tonka truck. I took you for a little 4-wheeler ride when your dad and Tess were taking a nap in the trailer and your helmet was so heavy you ended up leaning your head on my arm as we were driving back. It was funny and pretty cute. Then we went for a walk and I gave you a stale roll to rip up and throw to the squirrels. You watched me rip up mine but you decided that wasn't the way to go and you just chucked the whole thing into the bushes. The squirrels probably liked your way a lot better than mine!

The other night you were kind of grumpy and your dad came home and was talking to you and he asked if you loved him and you said no. Well that made your dad upset so I asked you the same question and of course you told me no too. So the next morning after your dad had left for work I asked you the same questions and again you told me you didn't love us. So I asked you if you wanted new parents. You looked at me with a very concerned look on your face, put your arms up like you were shrugging your shoulders and said "I'm not sure?" It was so funny. I don't know where you learned that phrase but you use it a lot lately and it is always at the funniest times.

We went and hung out with Aunt Lisa a couple days ago and showed her just how fun life with 2 kids can be. You were kind of grumpy (do I sense a trend?) and started throwing a fit rolling around on her floor so she got down and started doing the same thing. She started asking you if she was bugging you but you just kept going. Later that night when your dad got home he took you for a ride in the truck and asked if you had seen Aunt Lisa that day. Your answer went something like this... "Yeah. She bugs me." Your dad laughed and laughed and when he told me the story I had to fill him in on why Aunt Lisa bugs you. While you may be grumpy a lot of the time, you are dang funny the rest of the time!

I bought you some cream for your scar and told you it was your "special makeup" since you like to get into my makeup when I am getting ready. You disappeared for a little too long one day and were a little too quiet and this is what I found when I went looking for you. Apparently you thought if a little bit of "makeup" was a good thing, then a LOT must be even better.

Your favorite thing to do lately is to watch me make dinner. You are quite the helper! You love to watch the pots boil and when they steam you say "oooh, it's making FIRE!"

And as if we needed any more proof that you and your dad are 2 peas in a pod this would be it. Your dad gets mad when I make cookies or brownies and (gasp!) clean the bowl out with the spatula! Don't I know that not only am I supposed to leave those bits the spoon can't get but also intentionally leave EXTRA batter or dough in there for you? Yeah, you were a fan of the cookie dough on this beater if you can't tell.

On a sad note this month, your great-uncle Marty passed away from cancer and I think what makes me the saddest of all is that you will most likely only vaguely remember him. See, I think he kind of took a liking to you! Every time we visted him and your great-aunt Jean you always walked away with something new. A cool semi-truck, a set of western movies, and even a cool little bike on your birthday. You played catch with him a couple times and he told you that he would love to help teach you how to play football someday. He would have really gotten a kick out of telling you stories about when my cousin David played - I think his favorite story of all was when he got one of his friends to call him and pretend to be a recruiter! I know how hard his struggle with cancer was but every time we were around he was happy and excited to see you. We will definitely miss him.

You did something this month that I doubt I will ever forget. It wasn't that serious but boy, it made me wonder how I will ever raise the 2 of you to adulthood. I think for now I won't worry about the long-term and just be happy to survive from one day to the next. Being home continues to be a huge learning curve and you both continue to teach me more about life than I ever could have hoped to learn on my own. I thank you, but at the same time wouldn't mind if you gave me a break from all this learning once in a while.

Love you chubs,

Mom

What I'd like to say...

I'd like to say that I haven't posted in a over a week because

a)I've been too busy working on my school stuff (I really have!), or
b) that I'm too lazy to download new pictures onto my computer (this is true too).

But both of those legitimate reasons would totally be negated by the fact that I'm posting about a website I found from Taren's blog. Which means I was

a)looking at Taren's blog when I should have been working or downloading pictures, and
b)looking at the blog Taren recommended when I should have been... yeah you get the picture.

Anyway I swear I was just taking a break from hearing that crazily quiet Austrian man talk about 77-year-old ladies with hypertension when I found papertissue. I only just glanced through the first and second pages of images so give me a break. You would need a break too. I can seriously only understand every 5th word the man says.

Also, I had to post something so everyone that cared would know we are alive.

We are.

I'm busy.

I'm lazy.

So there.

Indeed.

3 Months - Little Laughs

Well Tessa my dear we have made it to the magic third month. Your screaming fits at night are a thing of the past and you are starting to become a happy, active, baby. Your belly has finally figured out what it needs to do to allow you to digest food without causing you to scream through the whole process. You've started to coo and even give me a few little laughs here and there. How I love that magical 3 month mark.

I read somewhere once that the average baby cries 3 hours a day. The only time you decided to come close to that was last week when we decided to take you camping. You did pretty well but by the morning we were ready to head home you decided to stage a hunger strike and wouldn't eat until we made it home to Kanab. Because of this you were understandably starving and cranky and you cried so much we had flashbacks of Logan's first ear infection. You see, Logan's first ear infection is a memory that still strikes fear into the eyes, hearts, and ears of me and your dad. It is not something we plan to relive so any time a baby cries like that we panic. Luckily as soon as we got back to Kanab you were happy enough to eat and all was well. Already you know how to get your way. That's good I guess, sometimes it comes in handy. Once I got paid $5 by your grandma to put a coat on because I was too stubborn to admit that frostbite was beginning to set in and that was the only way she could get me to put on the coat. I got $5 out of the deal...


Your dad blessed you this month too. He was worried you were getting too big to hold but you did well. You were blessed in the dress that my cousin Jessica, your aunt Lisa, and I were all blessed in - it was so cute! You fell asleep and your dad said you pretty much stayed that way throughout the blessing except for when you first got up there your eyes popped open for just a second. Your dad did a great job - he did with Logan too. He never leaves anything out and he says all the things I hope he will say and then some. He really is great at it. Your uncle Derick was pretty bummed that he couldn't be there to stand in the circle, he was on a fire and we know how that goes, but your grandpas and uncles Dusty and Joe were there to help out.

Ok, the only reason I am going to even write this out is because in a few years when we are trying to decide if we are going to have another baby I want to remember the good and the bad. And this is good. So good I am nervous to type it out tonight. Here goes...about halfway through this last month you even started sleeping through the night! Ha! A child of mine sleeps through the night! Take that! Ok, so it isn't every night and I know better than to think this is a permanent thing, but I'm enjoying every night it happens. You go down for bed between 9-10:30 and you don't wake up until 5:30-6. Can I get a hell yeah? In fact, if Logan didn't wake me up who knows when the two of us would wake up because you generally have a snack when you wake up and go back to sleep until 9-10! Soon enough you will be cutting teeth, or sick, or have some other kind of disturbance that will have you waking up at night but until then, I'm enjoying our sleep! You sleep in your crib until you wake up but without fail as soon as I put you back in after you eat you fuss and grunt and make all sorts of noise until I give in and put you in the big comfy bed with me for the last couple hours. You look so small and cute sleeping on that big bed.



This last 3 months has been a lot of fun comparing you to Logan in every way possible. You look like him sometimes, and then you don't. You act like him, but sometimes not at all. He came in the trailer the other day when we were camping and couldn't find you and I told him I had thrown you away and asked if that was ok. Well let me tell you it certainly was not and he was pretty upset at me until I pointed out that you were sleeping in your bouncy. So even if he doesn't act like it now, he does love you. And even if you don't always like him now, you love to watch, laugh, and coo at him - and I take that to mean that you love him too.



Love you sis,

Mom